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It’s almost like a drinking game. Identify the red flags, and take a shot. And if you HAVEN’T been in a relationship with, been raised by, been friends with, worked with, served at a restaurant, checked in to a hotel, etc. then I’m afraid you’re the minority who won’t be drinking at this party, because they’re everywhere.
I’ll be the first to admit that we all have narcisstic traits and that the term and concept are so overused these days, that only when you’ve been really close to them, can you recognize the true effect it could have on you and anyone who comes across their path.
One pattern to watch for is their inability to answer questions.
That’s it!
Narcissists biggest fears are SHAME and ACCOUNTABILITY.
Any questions, open or close-ended from “how’s your day going?” to “are you going to the party?” Are deflected, thrown back at you, taken as offensive, or completely ignored.
And when they have a question for you and you don’t answer them right away (with the response THEY were looking for), watch out for the narcissistic rage
Even when it sounds like they’re genuinely inquiring “what do you want to eat for your birthday dinner tonight?” And you give your honest answer in a timely fashion, you’ll get “ugh, not pasta again.” It was never up to you to being with, in their mind.
*And even if they do give an answer to your question, there’s no telling if they’ll be accountable for it. You spend money and brave the cold to get dinner and bring it home, only to come back to “took you long enough” before you even open it. Then comes the “did you check it before you left?” Followed by the “it’s too late now” and the “it’s cold already anyways. Did you take the long way home on purpose? Let’s just eat.” It could be accompanied with sprinkles of “don’t I get a drink?” Or “We can’t eat here any more, I can make this better.” Or perhaps “I’m not hungry anymore. This tastes like garbage” followed by a swift toss into the trash.
And let’s not forget the complete denial “I didn’t say we should see the 8pm movie” when you pull out your phone and show them…
